When the partner suggests a break in a relationship, a world collapses for many. But taking a break can also be a great opportunity for a deadlocked relationship – if you keep a few things in mind.
Sometimes relationships are just the worst. Be it that you have drifted apart, that both of you don’t bother with each other, or that tenderness and sex have disappeared from the scene.
Often the feeling for one another is still there, only the awareness for one another has been lost. The relationship has become more of coexistence than togetherness. Nevertheless, one does not want to prematurely separate.
After all, you still love the other. And then the partner should be worth fighting for. So what can be done to change something?
The topic of a break in a relationship scares many couples. Ultimately, the question arises:
- Isn’t this the beginning of the end of the relationship?
- Don’t you move away rather than approach again?
- Doesn’t the other person rather notice that they can live very well without me when there is a break in a relationship?
Don’t worry: this CAN happen, but it doesn’t have to.
Common reasons to take a break from relationships
I can tell you one thing in advance: You are not alone. It’s true – many couples get to the point where they start thinking about taking a break from their relationships.
I have listed the most common causes here:
1. You are stuck
Do you have the feeling of “How, and that’s it?” Routine everyday life has caught up with you and you have the feeling that you are somehow stuck? Have you grown apart?
You had so many common dreams: getting married, moving in together, traveling, having a child … Maybe the child is already there and somehow you are suddenly facing the deepest low of your relationship. You no longer feel like he or she still loves you.
2. Afraid of the next step
Don’t get me wrong – of course, none of you expect you to be ready for the wedding and kids in the first 5 minutes. But if the thought of the future alone makes you want to pack your things and leave, then you should ask yourself why that is.
Maybe you’ve already had a bad heartbreak. Or you know that terrible feeling of loss. Then it is normal that you want to protect yourself and push your partner away when thinking about the future.
At some point, however, you have to face these fears. Or do you want to run away from love forever? Ask yourself if your fear of the next step is your partner or your fears.
3. Time out after an affair
Sure, an affair really hurts. Normally, you need some time afterward to somehow come to terms with the doubts, the sadness, and your anger! Of course, you can first realize whether you can forgive your partner.
An affair is often a reason for a break in a relationship. Some use this time to become aware of whether they want to continue – or whether they can at all.
4. Too much argument
Unfortunately, it’s not entirely uncommon for a wonderful relationship to turn into a toxic relationship over time.
The things that you previously liked about your partner only annoy you.
For some reason, you get loud at the slightest problem and the loving familiarity is gone. Are you familiar with that?
5. Boredom in the relationship
Please be very honest here: Would you like a break in your relationship because you would like to try yourself out with someone else?
Remember, there must be clear rules in place during your break in a relationship. If you haven’t talked about affairs, etc., something like that likely hurts your partner. Your relationship would be permanently damaged and that is really the opposite of what your break in a relationship is supposed to do.
6. Spatial change
I know a long-distance relationship is a very special challenge. You will have to adjust to finding new ways to create intimacy.
You might be interested in: 10+ Obvious Signs of Girls who Like You Very Much
Is a relationship break the end?
Of course, a break in a relationship does not automatically mean that your relationship is over. But you have to know that a temporary separation only works if all fears and wishes are taken into account.
It is said that a relationship needs more physical contact to know that everything is okay. But then there is also the type of partner who tends to isolate himself and distance himself from conflicts.
Do you reflect on yourself in one of the two types?
You must work as a team here so that you both get what you need. After all, the overriding goal is that you get out of the situation as an even stronger couple! So: talk to each other and make rules!
Benefits of a relationship break
Even our legislators see that a temporary separation can have advantages. If a couple is married, a break in a relationship before the final breakup is even required by law – there is no divorce without a year of separation.
During a break in a relationship, each of you can clarify what you want, where you are, and how things should go next.
In the end, it is easier to make a decision for or against continuing on the common path.
But apart from this fairly clear advantage, what other positive aspects are there?
1. Distance from everyday problems:
Since your relationship is on hiatus, you don’t see each other every day and the situation can relax. Especially when you argue a lot, the emotions can cool down and you have the opportunity to analyze the situation better.
2. Time to miss you:
People often just want what they don’t have. It is often only after a breakup that partners realize what they actually liked about each other. Taking a break in a relationship can make you realize this before you finally break up.
Well, there are a few key points. Unfortunately, breaks in relationships are not only beneficial.
Disadvantages of a relationship break
Probably the biggest downside to leaving your relationship for a while is that won’t solve anything on its own.
And a break in a relationship without realizing how you want to continue afterward does not change anything.
So what are the downsides of relationship breaks?
They make a breakup more likely:
Some studies from the USA show that only about 3/4 of the couples who took a break from relationships stayed together for a long time.
They are often a “break up light”:
Many partners shy away from taking the hard step and parting. A “pause” therefore just sounds less violent in the first step. But once you have taken a break, it is much easier to draw a complete line.
They don’t solve your problems:
If you choose to be in a relationship, you have to change something so that you can save your relationship. Because this “before” first led you to think about separation.
But you can also just start changing something right away without separating for a while. As you see, changes are much easier in an ongoing relationship than in a “paused” one.
Rules for a break in a relationship
Whether you call it a temporary separation or a break in a relationship: A temporary separation from your partner is often associated with a negative image.
There is also the fear that this will provoke a relationship breakdown even more. But in the love break, there can be potential for a new start, for falling in love with the partner again.
1. It needs a clear definition
Sure, a break in a relationship can also lead to a permanent breakup. But in most cases, it would have happened at some point without a break. Because whether there are feelings and the common desire for a common future, even a break in a relationship cannot simply go away.
On the contrary: The newly gained freedom allows you to calm down, reflect on the past time and clarify your feelings.
Are you thinking about a temporary separation? Then it is important that you and your partner agree on common rules.
2. Both want it
At the beginning of a break in a relationship, the first question is: are we going to do it? It is important here that both parties agree and that one person does not feel pressured.
The desire for a break from the relationship may possibly be stronger in one of the two. But the other person should at least respect this wish and want to get involved.
Those who do not open up to the idea will have fewer positive experiences.
3. Clarify contact
Before the temporary separation, clarify whether and what form of contact is allowed.
If you have children together, it is often impossible to completely stop contact. However, you should establish rules such as No text messages, no phone calls, and no meetings.
4. How long the separation is?
If you prevent any contact with one another, it is advisable to set a fixed duration before the start of the relationship break.
So you should agree on a specific date and a place where you will meet again. Perhaps it is a place that you have visited many times as a couple. Or you are looking for a neutral place to meet again.
Also read: What Is a Platonic Friendship [Men and Women] & How does it Work?
5. The conversation after the break in the relationship
Another important point: If you see each other again after the break, you should have an honest conversation about your fears, desires, and feelings. Without taboos, but also without offending the other.
After this conversation, both should clearly state whether they want to fight for each other or whether they no longer see any meaning in the relationship.
