To be honest, we have a lot of respect for single mothers. She works, takes care of her child(ren), and also makes time to meet a new partner. So, here are things you shouldn’t ask a single mom you’ve got to know.
A single mother friend shared with us some of the most awkward questions we’ve been asked.…
1. ‘It must be hard to get a date
Whether you’re saying this as a stranger or as a friend, it may be well-meant. Because, yes, it is quite difficult to date if you have one or more children who are often with you. Instead of naming that something is difficult, it is much more constructive to offer your help. “Shall I watch out so you have your hands free?” or ‘Shall we create a nice dating profile on a dating site together?’ Look, that has something to do with the single mom.
2. Never ask a single mom … ‘Why aren’t you with the father anymore?’
Uh, ‘when was the last time you went to the hairdresser?’ Some things you don’t say. The reason for the single status is not something you ask yourself. There can be many reasons for this that are very private or painful. If she starts talking about it herself, there is apparently room to talk about it.
3. ‘On a night out: ‘Where’s your kid?’
If a mother in a traditional family situation is a night out, then also ask ‘Gosh, where did you leave your child?’ It’s pretty rude to ask a single mom where her kid is on a night out. You can safely assume that she will arrange excellent childcare or a babysitter for her child. No discussion.
4. ‘Children need a father figure in their lives’
Hey, maybe that dad is there, but not on the couch and in bed. And the real father isn’t the only man who can serve as a role model, by the way. There are grandfathers, brothers, uncles, friends. Not every child has his biological father around him, for various reasons. Research indicates that it is about the quality of the relationship that a child maintains with his ‘father figure’.
5. ‘Does the father pay you?’
Say, talking about money is a no-go area anyway, why should a single mother tell you how she has arranged it financially. She doesn’t ask you whether you were married in a community of property, and if she does, you can reflect him nicely.
6. ‘I don’t understand how you do it all on your own’
Maybe it’s meant as a compliment, but it actually seems more like an insult. As if it’s a tedious job that needs to be done. Instead of saying this, you can actually give a compliment. “You’re doing great, you’re getting it right.”
7. ‘If you ever need a nanny…’
In the general category: ‘Let me know if I can do ‘something’ for you as a single mother.’ Very sweet means, but the chance is small that you will be called. Instead of an open-ended offer, it is better to make a concrete proposal. “I have nothing to do on Friday evening, if I’m babysitting then you can do something fun.” Or offer to exchange. You look after her child(ren) and she looks after yours. that way you also consider single mommy girlfriend as an equal and not as a pathetic case.
8. ‘Are you not afraid to stay alone’
Asking the question is quite an open door and can be very painful. Just like the person who asks the question does not do so for anything. Of course, there are times when you desperately think you won’t be attractive in the dating market because you have kids, this is what a single with no kids has too. Unless you’re the very best friend, you’d rather stay away from this question.
9. ‘I’m also a single mom this week’
Really, so your partner is on a business trip for a week? May be meant to be funny, but you have no idea what it’s like to be a single mom who often has to make decisions alone or when she has a tough job to do around the house has to seek outside help or still has her head over that impossible alone assemble Ikea cabinet.
10. ‘When she goes out: ‘Are you doing it safely?’
Say, you’re not my mother and I’m not your 18-year-old daughter either. I’m 30+, have a child/children and I can do my own business. Also in the dating field.
Also read: 10+ Benefits of Becoming a Young Mother
