Love without any physicality? That sounds strange at first. And yet everyone is talking about Platonic Relationship, the love with great familiarity, strong affection, and deep connection, but the erotic aspect does not matter, so there is no mutual sexual attraction.
You are both still at the very beginning and slowly approach each other emotionally. The similarities are there, as a growing and deep connection – but the electrifying butterflies are still missing. In such situations, the question quickly pops up of whether it is a good idea to keep dating.
But before we start implementing it, we have to go back to the beginning: What exactly does Platonic Relationship mean? And how does it differ from other forms of connection and affection?
What is the meaning of Platonic Relationship?
The concept of Platonic Relationship goes back a long way in the history of ideas: Because the term unmistakably contains the name of Plato, one of the most famous philosophers of antiquity. However, what we now understand as “platonic” has nothing to do with his love concept of “eros” – physical pleasure.
So… what exactly is the meaning of platonic? Platonic feelings actually contain almost all of the key terms that apply to conventional partnerships.
It is an intimate relationship that overcomes bad times, characterized by deep affection and familiarity, but can also hold fears of loss in readiness.
Only one thing is excluded: the sensual, intimate world of mutual touch and caress.
So it is an intense relationship as any partnership – but only takes place on a spiritual level.
It can be exclusive and exclude other partners. But there are also cases in which there is a platonic relationship with one person and an erotic relationship with another.
The Benefits
In this relationship, people can feel just as secure as in a “normal” partnership.
Many couples know this all too well. Because it is often not that easy to find a good level with your partner that both are happy with. Often it is either too little or too much of a good thing for one of the two.
With this, you enjoy almost all the advantages of an intimate relationship, but you can forego discussions about sex and Co. and thus avoid a major relationship killer. If you’re willing to give up the physicality.
Of course, this is not meant to be a plea for a platonic relationship: only you can know whether it works and whether it is the right path for you.
Platonic Vs Friendship
Anyone who talks about the advantages of this Relationship is often confronted with the argument that it is just a normal friendship or a kind of “friend zone “. These varieties are clearly differentiated from the Plato love:
Friendzone: The friendzone is an imbalance that someone gets into when they fall in love and this is not met with love; So the other doesn’t want a relationship, just friendship.
Friendship: What is the difference between Platonic Relationship and a deep friendship? One thing is certain: the transition is fluid. Because love is also a state of dependency and (in this case not physical) intimacy. A friendship is usually associated with fewer obligations and loyalty, but the closer and more intense it is, the more it resembles a Platonic Relationship.
Soul Mates: Soul mate theory states that there is exactly one person out there with whom you can have the most intense relationship. The concept of the so-called dual souls states that two simply belong together and can only form a whole together. However, the development of a soul partnership can also take place on a physical level – but not a Platonic Relationship.
Does it Give you Certainty?
Are you really on the platonic path or do you actually “only” wish for a conventional friendship? With the following self-test, you can get a little closer to the truth. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I feel safe?
- Do I still have butterflies in my stomach when I think about the other person?
- Do I dream of the other in a non-erotic way?
- Don’t I feel like kissing or sex when we get close?
- Are we having deep conversations that mean a lot to me?
- Can I imagine planning this person in my future and being loyal to them?
If you can answer “yes” to all of these questions, it is very possible that it is really platonic and not erotic love. With the highest of emotions, sex doesn’t have to be important – even if it is for many couples.
Also read: 8 Behaviors that Can Ruin your Relationship Subconsciously
Can it work?
So far so good. But of course, there are some problems. In the course of the time together, one partner might want more – suppressing sexual feelings leads to an unhealthy relationship in the long run.
If a Platonic Relationship develops, even though you are in an erotic relationship at the same time, the existing partner can quickly become jealous – because this love is very deep, which can lead to the feeling of having been replaced. Therefore, you should always be honest at this point and play with open cards.
In general, it is a problem if one of the two partners or even both are in emotional chaos and are guided by false hopes or expectations. Once again, it is extremely important, to be honest with yourself and with others – this is the only way to avoid misunderstandings.
In general, however, this means this love can work very well and it can work between man and woman (in the case of heterosexual couples) or between man and man or woman and woman (in the case of homosexual couples).
Is this an Excuse?
However, there is a great risk that a Platonic relationship will be used as an excuse, for example in the event of a lack of sexual interest. But the generalizing “excuse” is actually the wrong word at this point – because if a partner is asexual, for example, a sex-free relationship may be the right way to go.
The reason, in this case, would be that there is simply no need for sex. It is by no means an excuse. If, however, a casual friendship out of the lack of mutual attraction is desired, there is nothing Platonic about it.
Not having sex before marriage
No sex before marriage, but having a couple of relationships also means a platonic relationship. The partners who handle it in this way are sure that abstaining from sex until marriage has positive effects on various areas of life.
But opinions differ widely on this subject. In times of advanced emancipation and the many contraceptive methods, abstinence causes misunderstanding among many. They see the commandment not to have sex before the wedding as an outdated moral concept.
Positive or Negative
Whatever the reason, it doesn’t mean these couples have to be more unhappy than couples with busy sex lives. Many thereby give their partnership a new direction and report that the affection has even deepened.
If it is consensual and both partners are in favor of this type of relationship, they can be very happy and satisfied. You should speak openly about your wishes, expectations, and ideas.
Good communication within the relationship is basically very important. If only one of the two wants a platonic relationship, it can also cause big problems, because this will automatically lead to disputes, allegations, etc.
A solution has to be found here, otherwise, a separation is risked.
Can It be Enriching?
No matter whether you want to label the relationship or not, whether Platonic Relationship runs alongside your current relationship, you are only looking for a platonic connection where you cannot imagine another partner at your side or whether the desire for sex in one Relationship has simply waned over the years – Platonic Relationship can be very enriching if you and the person you are talking to are equally ready for it.
Concentrating on the other on a spiritual level and marginalizing physicality can be a balancing act for many. But you shouldn’t force yourself to do anything. This Relationship comes all by itself – and before you can even name it, you know where you are.
Because that is the most important thing: You don’t have to find a name for your relationship, you just have to feel comfortable with the other person. In such a way that you are both happy with it.
