Before explaining the characteristics of a narcissist, I want to warn you:
I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist. And I don’t think you should make a diagnosis about your husband, friend, or partner based on a “narcissism test” or “is he a narcissist?”
A doctor should do that. And they have it difficult enough to make an accurate diagnosis.
If a doctor has been taking a long time to make such a diagnosis, then you don’t think I can do that in a video or an article? Of course not.
I leave that to the professionals.
The Characteristics of a Narcissist
There are several mental illnesses that can plague a man. But one of the most serious is narcissism.
“Am I dating a narcissist?”
If you’re dealing with a narcissistic man or woman, then hide.
Establishing a relationship with him will not be easy.
On the other hand, there are plenty of reasons why a narcissist can be very attractive.
But you will need to know how to deal with the characteristics of his narcissism. And that’s what most of this article is about.
He imagines himself as unique and special
A narcissist thinks he is unique and special. For example, although he is unemployed or lying on the couch all day, he still believes he will one day become the director of a multinational company.
This is the less fun thing about dating a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
At first, you can fall for it. And think he is indeed as great as you thought.
But once you’re in a relationship with him, you’ll likely find out that his details are grossly exaggerated. And that he is not aware of this himself.
A narcissist likes to maintain an illusion.
The moment you start fiddling with this a bit, the narcissist may get angry or tend to revenge.
So it is better not to do this unless this person trusts you enormously.
And the question is whether you want to be with someone who lives in a dream world.
Narcissists feel superior to others
A man feels superior to all others when you have a guy who displays this trait, it’s never fun. Unfortunately, it is also a dangerous signal and one of the hallmarks of narcissism.
Not only how he treats you, but also how he treats others in front of you.
Try to make a nice mess of it when you are out together.
A narcissist may have few friends. And your group of friends is his largest social network. In such a case you are stuck with a man who has little to add socially.
He demands preferential treatment
Some narcissists will try to get the freedom they don’t want you to be. Where they can eat what they want, and you have to sit on the couch at home.
This is one of the ways a narcissist can demand preferential treatment.
There are more. But this does not always have to be a problem.
I’ll give you an example:
Should men and women share household tasks? Share the finances?
My answer to that is that it depends on the situation. For example, if he can cook well, but is rather sloppy or disorganized, is it uneven when he cooks, and you do the laundry? Or vice versa?
I hope you get my point. As long as it’s reasonable and both of you can agree with it, you can agree.
It is important to consider what you want and to determine if what the narcissist wants is against it.
You will have to make a choice.
And if you decide you don’t want a relationship with the narcissist, you better leave.
He has an abstract goal
A characteristic of a narcissist is that he finds certain goals much more important than you. A man who has more to do in his life than chasing you is of course attractive. Only a narcissist takes this into absurdity.
He strives for:
- Fame
- Good luck
- Money
- Power
- Often all four at the same time.
In such a case, his goals usually do not reflect reality:
In many cases, he comes nowhere near what he is pursuing. But his arrogance is limitless in this. And the problem is, he’s relentless in his pursuit.
If he has to sacrifice his relationship with you, he will.
He is only half present in the relationship.
If he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, he always comes first. There is no room for anyone else. Not for you either.
So if you are concerned that he is not giving you enough attention:
Get used to it. Because he will never change.
On the other hand, there can be many benefits if this man succeeds in amassing the power and money he yearns for.
Are there any benefits to a relationship with a narcissist?
Let’s be:
Dating a rich man has its advantages. Just like a mighty man.
This is sometimes sensitive about. People then say:
“How can you say that? Dating a narcissist has only downsides, right?”
But it’s comparable to dating an older man :
He can give you experiences that a younger man simply cannot offer you.
So of course, dating a man with life experience and more power is attractive. Whether he’s a narcissist or not.
He manipulates to achieve his own goals
A narcissist manipulates others. A narcissist always puts himself first.
That means if he wants to achieve or have something, he can go right through you. Even though he says he loves you.
A small thing can be blown up enormously. His need for space and distance is greater than in other men. Especially at crucial moments.
A narcissist is not empathetic
He may have a hand in presenting himself as “vulnerable”.
But as you will see later, a narcissist has little vulnerability. And his vulnerability is simply a way to get his way.
You could say that a narcissist is insane. But that is more the domain of the psychopath.
They are usually violent and not narcissistic. This can sometimes occur.
He is jealous and paranoid
A narcissist is jealous and paranoid. This is very striking. But a narcissist can cheat on your own while treating you extremely paranoid in the meantime.
In such a case, he can accuse you of sharing the bed with everyone and everyone. And keep a close eye on your phone to check whether you can be trusted.
But in the meantime, he has several things for himself by cheating on him or having multiple affairs.
He has an underdeveloped empathy
A narcissist has less empathy. This is where it goes wrong.
I know a woman who is in a relationship with a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He is unable to show empathy on his own. He has to “fake” it, as it were.
At first, he got away with that.
But as the relationship progresses, you will find that his attempts to win over his empathy wane. It all seems fake and not meant.
And at some point, you will find that if empathy is not convenient for him, he will simply quit.
Teach him to consider you
On the other hand, you can teach him to take you into account.
He may not feel it, but if he loves you, he may be willing to show more empathy for the things you point out.
If you explain to him how he’s hurting you, he’ll do his best to stop hurting you at that point. That is if you discuss this openly with him and he agrees.
Since narcissists sometimes assume that they are not doing anything wrong, it is sometimes difficult to make sense of this.
He is sick and will not change
A narcissist is not going to change sooner you realize this, the better.
Many women think they can change the narcissist during the relationship.
They can teach him to empathize, love, and be good to puppies and small children.
But a narcissist has a disorder
He cannot be changed. He is who he is.
You can teach him different behavior, but you cannot change the nature of the animal. And as long as you stay with him, you will always be with a man who is sick.
If that’s the choice you want to make, I won’t hold you back. But your life will be a lot tougher than with another man.
He can behave aggressively
Narcissists can be aggressive. This is how a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder turns into a bad man.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he is openly rude, but he can.
It’s more than the way he treats you is far from sweet. And that it goes further than you would expect in a normal situation.
Narcissists have no vulnerability
Many women have said that a narcissist has a deep vulnerability, which he tries to disguise by behaving narcissistically.
But now there are also indications in the knowledge that this is not the case. That there is no such a vulnerable core.
Rather, there is “nothing”.
That means you can’t expect vulnerability or emotional outbursts from such a narcissistic man. And somewhere that can be very attractive.
How nice would it be if you never had to consider a man’s feelings?
At least not with his vulnerable feelings?
A narcissist can get angry when you do something that goes against their desire. And then he can be quite dangerous.
But feelings of vulnerability? He misses that, in many cases.
It is therefore a myth that a narcissist is insecure deep down. That he is lonely too, although this can of course happens. He will not easily be afraid or aware of his actions.
Now you can recognize narcissism in your relationship … but what do you do with it?
These were the characteristics of a narcissist. And you know if you have a relationship with a narcissist and how to deal with him.
Hopefully, you have a better understanding of the real meaning of narcissism in a relationship. So you can recognize it better.
The narcissism symptoms are diverse, but you now have a broader frame of reference to interpret and deal with them.
If you’re married to a narcissist and want a simple step-by-step plan to finally get out of his grasp, read this article.
I wish you the best of luck with it.
And if you have any questions about the characteristics of a narcissist, you can always leave a message in the comments.
